On Developing Acceptance

Excerpt from my clinical theory of counseling, The Quest for Balance:The Ten Essentials.

Essential #9, Develop Acceptance.

Both gratitude and acceptance are important characteristics to be mindful of in our quest to restore and maintain balance in our lives. People often enter counseling only able to see the negative aspects of their situation and are unable to see the whole picture. As a therapist, it is my job to help my clients look carefully at the nature of their presenting problem and start to identify different outcomes that will lead to the relief or insight they are seeking. Whether a client comes to me feeling anxious, angry, overwhelmed, or afraid, it is my job to help tap into their natural potential for change, and to help them recognize that acceptance is often the only way out of a difficult situation.

Awareness of the source of the pain is almost always the starting place in my work with clients, especially if they have sought out counseling in need of immediate relief. We begin to take steps to accept the situation for what it is, no matter how painful or difficult it might seem in the moment. Together we begin to imagine and create different and more desirable outcomes based on conversations about what can be changed, and what cannot be changed. Change requires action, and action is only possible when we accept the way the world is so that we can begin to work with it.



Thoughts and Prayers about Acceptance:

“Acceptance is a state of non-reactivity and understanding. Acceptance does not mean ‘approval’ or that you condone what you are accepting. It means that you see something and know it for what it is, without having to need to change it. There are many ways prayer can prepare you for acceptance.”

“God of My Heart, help me to see and to know things for what they are, both inside me and outside of me. Help me to allow things to be as they are, even when I wish them to be different.
Help me to experience the importance of Acceptance: that things as they are hold many gifts, and that if my eyes and heart are open I can learn from what things and people teach me.
Help me to remember that to be in the state of Acceptance means that I can truly move through the world knowing what I can and cannot change.”