How compassionate are you when it comes to your own needs, longings, and fears? I was my own worse critic for years and allowed my fear and self judgement to occupy a lot of prime realestate in my life. I was too much of one thing and not enough of the other and I felt like nothing I did ever added up to much. For a majority of my life, if only and should have kept me stuck in my own misery. Today, I know that I am enough. Today, I recognize my imperfections and I have compassion for my struggles and fears. I get to make mistakes and I get to start my day over as many times as I need to. I've learned how to utilize a powerful phrase that has strengthened my relationships with people I care about; "I was wrong, and I'm sorry." Admitting my mistakes and owning up to my shortcomings has been a suprising pathway to building self esteem and feeling good about how I show up in the world.
Here is a cool site on self compassion. I have used the test with clients as a way to really look at how our lack of self compassion can cast a dark shadow over our true potential for growth and change. http://www.self-compassion.org/
Max Ehrmann's inspirational poem - Desiderata
The common myth is that the Desiderata poem was found in a Baltimore church in 1692 and is centuries old, of unknown origin. Desiderata was in fact written around 1920 (although some say as early as 1906), and certainly copyrighted in 1927, by lawyer Max Ehrmann (1872-1945) based in Terre Haute, Indiana. The Desiderata myth began after Reverend Frederick Kates reproduced the Desiderata poem in a collection of inspirational works for his congregation in 1959 on church notepaper, headed: 'The Old St Paul's Church, Baltimore, AD 1692' (the year the church was founded). Copies of the Desiderata page were circulated among friends, and the myth grew, accelerated particularly when a copy of the erroneously attributed Desiderata was found at the bedside of deceased Democratic politician Aidlai Stevenson in 1965.
Whatever the history of Desiderata, the Ehrmann's prose is inspirational, and offers a simple positive credo for life.
desiderata - by max ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
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